A few months before my Mom died last year (it will be one year ago next week), I felt my heart close up, like being put in a locked box on a shelf, so that the hurt wouldn’t hurt so bad. The problem with your heart being sealed off like that, is it isn’t just sealed off from the pain of your mother’s death (or whatever pain someone is sealing off their heart from). It gets sealed off from everything and everyone. Even the Lord.
You discover, after a while, that, sure, you don’t hurt, you don’t cry, but the wellsprings of life are sealed away too. So I knew this was a problem, but I didn’t know what to do to fix everything. Other than pray, "Okay, Lord, I made a terrible mistake, and now my heart is sealed away, locked away tight. How can it be unsealed now? I need Your help!" I am so thankful that upon repentance, upon confession and turning from our sins, our Father God is ready and willing to help us, no matter what kind of a mess we have made of things!
We were in church Saturday night, just like every Saturday night, when during the worship, while we were singing how wonderful is King Jesus (nothing new there) I felt, or saw, a key turning in a lock, and all of the sudden emotion poured through, or out of, my heart again. I started crying and couldn’t stop (good thing worship lasts a while) but it was the good kind of crying, the kind that cleans out gunk.
Then the message which followed was about preparing your heart to seek His face, and what if your heart isn’t there, but you want it to be? How do you fix your heart on Jesus? It was the Scriptural teaching which answered my questions of the Lord, following the work He did in me during the worship. There are thousands of people which attend our church in the course of a weekend. That the Lord would take a weekend and minister to me – a single individual – it amazes me, His love for us.
He turns a desert into pools of water,
a parched land into springs of water. Psalm 107:35
He is SO wonderful, isn't He? Thank you for sharing this momentous experience.