Advice to singles, concluded

Previously: Advice to singles

A man or woman who is responsible and respectful with their a) car b) things c) money d) business e) studies f) relationship with the Lord – take your pick – will be responsible and respectful with you and your children. A man or woman who is careless with his a) car b) things c) money d) business e) studies f) relationship with the Lord – take your pick – will be careless with you and your children.

Is your potential spouse self- controlled or self- indulgent? Can they control their flesh, as evidenced by wise money management, careful planning rather than impulse purchasing, proper diet, restraint with alcohol, sweets, language, even gossip or murmuring. This is another way of asking: are they selfless or selfish? Selflessness is always preferred. The spouse of a selfish (self- indulgent) man or woman is in for a life of grief.

Does your potential spouse have a soft and teachable heart toward the Lord, or do they bristle at correction? No one has arrived, but the one with a teachable heart, who will respond with humility to the Lord’s instruction or correction, is wise already. What they do not know today the Lord can at least teach them or lead them into. But the one who is stiff- necked toward the Lord is like the Israelites coming out of Egypt: they could not enter the Promised Land and perished in the wilderness. And once you bind yourself to them for life, son and daughter, then you will perish in the wilderness with them, if you honor the Lord’s word.

Does your potential spouse obey the Lord more often, or disobey, then ask for forgiveness, more often? There is a reason that obedience is better than sacrifice (restitution for sins). A life of obedience is blessed by the Lord and that path is smooth; a life of sacrifice is troubled by consequences for sin and that path is broken and rocky.

Then I have three questions for you, my son and daughter. How do you fare when you apply the above to yourselves? And do you know the Word well enough to recognize agreement with it, or departure from it, in potential mates? Are you, then, marriage material, and what can you do become more so? Concentrate on becoming suitable, rather than finding someone, and the Lord Himself will bring you His choice when He has determined you are mature enough to be entrusted with them.