We have a streak of perfectionism that runs in our family. I am afraid it comes from my side of the family. There is nothing at all wrong with doing the absolute best job you can, at anything and everything you do. But perfectionism becomes a problem when:
1) fear of making a mistake or of an imperfect outcome prevents you from starting a job;
2) the drive for a perfect outcome means you never finish a job, since there will always be something that could have been better or needs to be fixed;
3) your self esteem is so tied to your performance that you cannot receive God or anyone else’s acceptance of you;
4) the need for a perfect outcome makes everyone else around you miserable, as you push them for more and better;
5) the need for a perfect outcome makes you impossible to please, no matter what anyone does.
The only way I have found to change an ingrained character trait like perfectionism is to tear down that stronghold with the Word of God. Scriptures that I have found helpful include those which reaffirm that God accepts me and others, not on a basis of works:
All who the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out. John 6:37
Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7
And those which reaffirm that God is surely working in my life and in the lives of those around me, so that I can not only release them into God’s care and stop trying to make everything that I think should happen, happen; but also extend patience not only to myself, but to those around me:
The Lord will accomplish what concerns me. Psalm 138:8
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
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