the pressure of perfection
the problem of perfection
The problem with perfection is that it is an illusion. We cannot attain it. Only the Lord is perfect in all His ways.
When we strive for perfection in ourselves, our husbands, our children, our homes, and our homeschooling, we are placing unreasonable demands on ourselves and our families. We are demanding more of ourselves and them than the Lord does.
I have struggled with perfectionism. My dad was a perfectionist. I am sorry that my memories of him (he has been home with the Lord for some years now) are mostly of his criticisms of me and frustrations with me. I do not remember him taking delight in being together or doing things together. He spent most of his free time in maintaining that perfect house and lawn. Perfectionism saps the joy from life that God intended, and leaves you frustrated.
We have to realize something, on our journey to rediscovering God’s ways and the biblical worldview. Perfectionism is really rooted in the fear of man, not in the fear of God. Because men look on the outside, and judge by outward appearances, then for the perfectionist the greatest fear is that “work in progress” appearance, whether it is with our home, our children’s behavior, their academic achievement, or spiritual maturity. They are children, for crying out loud.
It is really self-centeredness masked. The real crux of the perfectionism is the concern (fear) of how the imperfections in my life (my home, my husband, my children) will reflect on me. Me, me, me.
The Lord is more concerned with what is dross inside of us. He is not shocked that we are imperfect, and He gently allows real life to happen to us in order to purify us. However, purification brings the ugly dross to the surface at times, where everyone can see it (panic ensues in the hearts of all of us perfectionists out there). Dross is temporary, purity is eternal.
The Lord requires purity of us, not perfection. We are all in the furnace of life together, fellow homeschoolers; let us allow ourselves and each other some room to be “works in progress.”
The story of our family, and our trials, which the Lord graciously used to teach me these truths. ♥
to be continued …
Well-said and soooo very true! I also love the way you add the scripture link right into your writing.
Sheryl
Thank you so much for defining this issue. It's so easy to slip into the pattern of man pleasing without even knowing you're doing it. I will keep this bookmarked so I can read it again.
I'm so good at allowing myself imperfections…
my husband and children….not so good.
Thank you for making me aware of this today,
Donna
I have struggled with perfectionism, too. What a relief it is to finally give it up!
Thank you so much for sharing on perfectionism! I struggle badly with this, and currently am doing a Bible study “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore, just find peace from this. You are so right about this being “Me” centered. I am a second generation homeschooler, and the pressure has been huge. I am now learning to rest…lay things down at the Lord’s feet and be only perfect, because He has washed my sins away, has redeemed me and has finished it. I am growing and learning, not perfect in my humanity, but learning that it is okay. Again, thank you for sharing what God has placed on your heart